Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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