And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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