What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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