So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
