Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
