Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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