they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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