He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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