it was like eating out sand paper
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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