Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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