dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
