apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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