wat bout pragnant strippers??
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
