We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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