I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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