Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
