This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
