I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
