do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
