i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
