your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
