I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
