just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize