then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
