let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
