spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
