I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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