You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
