Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
