honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
