He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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