Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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