can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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