I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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