I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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