well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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