i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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