I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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