I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
