I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
