i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
