O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
