can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
