that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
