yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
