Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize