I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
