A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you never un-have a 4some
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
