What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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