In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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