Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
