You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
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As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends