and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now