i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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