He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
