i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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