Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
