He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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