White coat. Heels.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
