saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
