It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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